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Enjoying Parenting newborn infants babies toddlers best tips fun ideas
Finding Fun & Adventure While Parenting Little Ones
Finding the Adventure and Fun
in Raising Little Ones
Compiled and Adapted by Holly Blowers BSMA CNA AD
A couple of months ago, I met a mom that was absolutely miserable staying home with her two littles. I was so shocked. I had never met someone who just didn’t like being a parent and could not relate to her at all. Everyone has days that they struggle to be happy with, but it passes. Just like we had bad days at our jobs.
I immediately wanted to play with Hope; every minute of every day. I was filled with such joy when I looked at her that I thought my heart would burst. I spent hours laughing and watching her funny faces as a newborn, helping her explore and enjoy her world as a toddler, and watching her grow into a caring, playful and adventurous person that always wants to protect the things that are important to her. Therefore, I felt so sorry for the other mom because she was going to miss out on so much joy in her life.
The mom’s two-year-old had no idea how to play or even talk. It was difficult for me not to say anything every morning when she stuffed both boys into a stroller made for one, to keep them from roaming. She changed their diapers and fed them, but then she wanted to be on her cell phone. How sad, right? Their whole family bond and rhythm was off and underdeveloped.
Every baby, no matter how small, needs some love and fun in their day. I loved to find all sorts of sensory fun as Hope discovered her way around the world about her as a newborn. As a baby as she was developing her motor skills, her eyes would just come to life if she enjoyed something special. As a Toddler, I made all sorts of things to explore the world and all of it is treasures.
The mom and I were on totally opposite ends of the spectrum of parental involvement. The mom was my boss, so she did not like it much when I made suggestions. Even though I was not a perfect mom, I enjoyed my time with Hope as a baby and I wanted to help this mom do the same. It just broke my heart to watch how each day unfolded without joy and love.
I could lead by example and show her how to love being a mom, and I can write on the topic of enjoying your children for all the Arthur’s and Alex’s out there. I hope to inspire and better equip parents to turn off their phones and to just giggle and play with their babies and to find joy in the adventures and time you can have with just them every day.
It is important to play with your child for your child’s sake. But, as an added bonus, you receive benefits from playing with your child too. The hormone oxytocin, which plays a role in parent-infant bonding, is released whenever mothers and fathers engage in affectionate play with their children of any age. So, the next time you feel too exhausted to play with your child, you might try reframing the situation.
Speaking of relaxing, I think that putting plants in the nursery is an awesome idea. This is one of the things that I wish I thought of, but didn’t. It will bring my beloved outdoors in.
Plus, nurseries really need fresh air for both the baby’s sake and the parents. LOL
Be sure to get your nursery project underway early, so there will be plenty of time to air out new furniture and freshly painted spaces. Getting a head start will also prevent stress and ensure that you will have enough energy to finish the job. If you're someone who appreciates a little indoor greenery (or have a little houseplant garden thriving in your bay window), you might be wondering if you can decorate your new baby's room with plants, too. Not only is this a lovely way to decorate your littlest one's space, but these plants can also provide your baby with important benefits, from purer air to reduced stress. In fact, some varieties may even help get your baby to sleep (and stay that way) faster—and what new parent wouldn't love a little help in that department?
There's science to back up these benefits. "Houseplants not only increase oxygen, but they are also natural air purifiers and can remove up to 87 percent of toxins in a day. This includes volatile organic compounds such as formaldehyde, which can be found in everyday materials like paint and plastics," explains Joyce Mast, Bloomscape's resident Plant Mom. "Removing these toxins from the air can reduce symptoms caused by pollutants such as allergies, headaches, fatigue, and more." You do all you can to protect your newborn, which is why adding a houseplant is a wonderful thing to introduce to his or her bedroom. The plants provide
However, not all plants are safe for babies, so it's important to know which ones are nontoxic before you buy. Choosing a harmless plant to add to the nursery is just the first step; the second is placing it strategically, well out of baby's reach. It is a part of planning and preparing a happy place for yourself and baby.
The second thing, to do is research ways to include your baby in everything that you love to do. There are many new devices and contraptions to make their participation in your adventure easier than you think. It is recommended to introduce them to the things that you love to do as early as possible. They can not swim the Atlantic with you, or hike Mount Everest with you, but you can teach them to love the water in their bath and take them for walks whenever possible. And someday they will be able to swim and hike with you and love it!
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Making the Most of Newborn Parenting
Most parents-to-be dream of holding their newborn baby and looking after them – and most new parents find themselves more exhausted than they ever thought possible! These newborn parenting tips can teach you how to enjoy parenting – from the very beginning. Be sure to also read these tips on dealing with newborn sleep deprivation.
9 Ways to Make the Most of Newborn Parenting
What You'll Find in This Section
Let people help.
I’ve been very lucky this time round – I had family helping before Anna showed up, family around for the first few days after she was born, and lots of help from friends after that. I’ve accepted every single offer of help that’s come my way. I will be forever grateful to everyone who is making these early new-baby weeks so wonderful for me and my family.
Scale back activities.
I worked hard to simplify life before Anna showed up, and I’m looking to simplify even more. There’s no point filling days with extras when those extras make you too busy to enjoy the basics.
Hold your baby close.
I use my Moby-style knit wrap to carry Anna during the day when I need to get things done. I’ll switch her into the ERGO carrier when she gets older. I also try to spend at least a few minutes each day *just* holding her – without trying to do anything else.
Go outside.
This makes all the difference for me, and it’s a huge piece of my walking six-year-old Emma to school every day. It’s also the reason I’m willing to invest in high quality baby carriers and strollers. It is much easier to get out of the house when you have easy ways to travel with your baby!
Take some pictures.
Slowing down and taking a few pictures of your newborn will help you see how precious your child is. Print a few of those photos out and put them on your walls. I have some great newborn photography tips that even the most amateur of photographers can use.
Pay attention to nutrition.
I try to keep healthy snacks on hand (fruits and veggies), since otherwise I find myself eating chocolate chips instead of lunch. I’m also a big believer in the benefits of prenatal vitamins after having a baby as well as before. I feel like I have more energy and think more clearly on vitamins with DHA than on those without DHA.
Get creative with colicky babies.
My first child, Emma, struggled a lot with colic as a baby. She screamed for several hours each evening as a newborn. Taking her outside often helped, but it wasn’t realistic to keep her out for hours on end in the middle of a Scottish winter. We found music that also calmed her down, as did bouncing on one of those giant exercise balls!
Remember that it goes by quickly.
Make time to notice your baby laughing in their sleep, and watch them admire their hands in the sunlight.
Remember how lucky you are.
There are couples across the world who would give anything to be kept up all night by the world’s most colicky baby. You’re in a daily whirlwind of activity, and it all seems like a blur. It’s time for you to slow down and enjoy what’s special about your newborn baby.
That baby smell:
Year ago, I was at a conference with my then 3-week-old baby when a mom (who I was acquainted with but didn’t know well) asked if she could just smell my baby. Strangely, I didn’t find this at all weird, since I knew babies have a special smell about them. Researchers have found that sniffing a newborn baby’s head causes dopamine release in the reward pathways of the smeller’s brain.
While nobody knows what causes that newborn smell – just like other chemical messengers or pheromones, there’s likely a purpose. Researchers suggest that the unique smell helps moms recognize their own babies and fall in love with them.
The feel of baby sleeping on your chest:
Is it the warmth, the weight, the closeness, or maybe the absolute trust baby puts in us? Holding your sleeping baby curled up chest-to-chest with you is one of the most relaxing things you can do as a new mom. Even better if you’re skin-to-skin! Maybe this is only something you can truly appreciate when you look back on it while chasing after your now crawling baby.
Those tiny fingers and toes:
With our youngest baby, I remember saying to my husband, “Look at him – he’s four days old. He’ll never be just four days old again. Look now before it’s gone.” Take time to stroke baby’s hands and feet – touch is the most sensitive of the five senses, and both you and baby will benefit from these simple massages. It seems cliché to say time goes so fast, but it indeed does. Now I look at my 6-foot-tall oldest child and can barely remember him wrapping his tiny fingers around my thumb.
That amazingly soft skin:
The expression ‘soft as a baby’s bottom’ isn’t an exaggeration. Your baby may be born with a little bit of vernix still on his skin, which will rub off in the first few days. And you might notice hairs on the ears, back and shoulders – protective remnants from the uterine world. You and your baby may both enjoy infant massage. Use a light natural oil and gentle stroking.
Those incredible newborn smiles:
Sure some say they’re just gas, but what if they’re not? While child development experts say that true smiles don’t start until around 6 weeks, take pleasure in those occasional smirks you’re newborn bestows on you (even if he’s sleeping at the time!).
Parenting a newborn is sometimes thankless – after all, baby can’t tell you ‘I love you.’ But if you take a moment to enjoy the newness of the world to your little one and the amazingly complex creature your baby is, it may be all the thanks you need.
Bonding with Baby:
30 Cool Ways to Do It
Bonding with your sweetie is intuitive—and a joy. “Attachment isn’t about acting the ‘correct’ way,” says Daniel Messinger, Ph.D., a child-psychology professor at the University of Miami. “It’s really about watching her and responding sensitively.” So if you’re both having fun, you’re doing it right! Need a few pointers? Read on for 30 ways to bond with your baby.
CREDIT: MONKEY BUSINESS IMAGES/SHUTTERSTOCK
1. Breastfeed your baby. It's not just about nutrition—when your little one snuggles up against you to nurse, he hears your heartbeat, smells your scent, is reassured by skin-to-skin contact
2. Look into baby's eyes during bottle time. You want to get credit for all those feedings, right?! Keeping eye contact will help your baby remember who you are and what you mean to her.
3. Give her a massage. The benefits of baby massage are staggering, and you'll feel like a superhero as she giggles and coos in delight.
4. Put your phone away. Right now, your family, friends, and co-workers will understand if it takes you a few hours to respond to a text. Take advantage by giving all that extra time to your little one.
5. Look in the mirror together. He doesn't yet understand the concept of a reflection, but that's OK. Babies love looking at human faces and this is a great way to get him up close and personal with his own.
6. Listen to her heartbeat. Remember how excited you got to hear that sweet sound during sonograms? It can now be music to your ears whenever you want.
7. Sleep when he sleeps. Do not—we repeat, do not—feel guilty for hitting the sack at 7 p.m. A well-rested parent is a happy parent, and your baby will benefit most from that.
8. Do something sweet for your partner. Whether you realize it or not, your baby is picking up on the bond his parents share. Strengthen it by making a special dinner or taking the time to watch a movie together...just like old times!
9. Don't stress the milestones. It's tempting to scour the internet for info on when certain things will happen, but all babies develop at their own pace. If you keep looking ahead to the future, you'll miss out on the now!
10. Go skin-to-skin. You may have carried her in your belly for nine months, and chances are you're both missing that constant physical connection. Kangaroo care is a sweet—and practical—activity since it helps regulate baby's breathing and heart rate.
11. Respond to her cries. Especially for the first three months of her life, your baby needs to know you're there for her—and picking her up when she cries helps build that trust. No, you won't be spoiling her!
12. Become a superstar at swaddling. Proper swaddling can equal better sleep for baby. Need we say more? Follow this guide.
13. Take in his smell. Sadly, no one has yet figured out a way to bottle baby smell, so since you've got the good stuff right under your nose, sniff away. You'll find that your little one's scent is even more intoxicating than any other baby's. Ever. In the history of the world.
14. Spend extra time in the glider. So she just fell asleep and you're feeling pretty confident that you can use your ninja moves to transfer her to the bassinet without waking her. Before putting her down, rock back and forth together in the quiet, dark room. These are the moments you'll miss, so soak them in.
15. Play dress-up. Let's face it, your heart melts a little every time you see your baby in a new outfit, right? No one will judge you if you put on a baby fashion show for your eyes only!
16. Keep a journal. Your baby's first year will whiz by in a blur, so record all the sweet memories you're making together. Feel free to unearth the diary in 16 years when he brings his first date over the house!
17. Have a stuffed animal meet and greet. You'll have a blast watching your baby touch, smell, and even taste his little furry friends. Take notice as he picks a favorite—you'll want to have that one on hand at bedtime.
18. Make an appointment with Dr. Seuss. It's never too early to tap into her inner bookworm! Bonus points if you can put on a different voice for each character.
19. Breathe through a crying fit. That impossibly-put-together mom at Pilates is a liar...all babies cry. But when you tense up and get frustrated, your baby will wail even more.
20. Set a schedule. Babies are creatures of habit, so if you stick to a program your little one will feel more at ease. It'll also help her realize that you're the one making all the magic happen as you anticipate her feeding needs.
21. Go on a mommy-and-me date. Feeling adventurous? Hit up the zoo! Not so adventurous? The coffee shop around the corner works. Getting out with baby will remind you that the world is still spinning outside your little cocoon.
22. Come up with a pet name for him. You're his mom, so you can call him anything you want. Plus, the nickname you give him will be like a little secret only you two share.
23. Make a playlist and channel your inner Beyonce. Pick five of your favorite tunes, play them for baby regularly, and sing along. You'll get a kick out of it when she starts to bop along eventually, and it's always good for her to hear your voice.
24. Whip out your old baby photos. Maybe she has your eyes, your smile, or your ringlets. Whatever resemblance you find will make you feel instantly connected to her.
RELATED: 12 Ways for Dad to Bond with Baby
25. Relish feeding time. When it's time to start solids (around 6 months), don't worry about the mess. Instead, focus on your baby's sweet enjoyment and exploration of the new tastes, textures, and smells she's being exposed to.
26. Get your silly on. Have a blast wiggling your eyebrows and sticking out your tongue, and prepare for your heart to explode when you finally get baby to smile.
27. Leave the mess. Every day you'll have a choice: Tidy the house or cuddle with baby on the couch. We say cuddle time is more important than a clean house!
28. Feeling stressed? Talk to her. Those early days of motherhood can be isolating, so feel free to talk it all out with your new little BFF. She'll love hearing the sound of your voice, and you'll feel like a weight was lifted. Can you say win/win?
29. Take pleasure in the poop. Yeah, we said it. The diaper change gets a bad rap, but you can make it fun by singing a happy song while you wipe, marveling at how cute your baby's bottom is, or coming up with a million different words for poop.
30. Kiss him, kiss him, kiss him. In a few years he's going to wipe off your smooches and give you "that look." But right now? He's adorably helpless, so pucker up!
Tips to Help You Parent as a Team
with Your Partner
“It’s really important to respect each other’s ideas. That doesn’t mean you have to agree, but you should avoid being critical.”
If you hope to survive parenthood with your marriage intact you must become unified in all you do. Lock arms (and hearts) and stand firm together! Parenting takes teamwork.
Co-parenting happens when the [married couple] decides to cooperate in all areas of parenting. It means doing things together and accepting that you are both equally responsible for raising your children. When you co-parent, you work together to set family rules and consequences. You also decide together on family responsibilities, and manage the daily requirements of the home. Anything that involves parenting involves both parents, and it involves teamwork.
More and more families have become dual-income families. With both parents working outside the home, couples have started to divide the requirements of running the home more evenly. More and more fathers participate in household responsibilities such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, and childcare. But even if you are one of those families where one parent works at home while the other works outside the home, you will still benefit from learning to cooperate in the parenting process.
Try these tips to get yourselves on the same page or seeing eye to eye on parenting issues:
List Out the Pros and Cons to the Way You Were Parented
Now that you’ve come up with a list of words to describe your parents’ parenting style toward you, begin to discuss why you like or dislike how they did things. If they were strict, discuss ways in which that benefited you. If they were too lenient, discuss ways in which that did not work out well for you. Consider the things you think they did well. Consider the things that did not go well. And then begin to decide which things you would want to emulate toward your own child. And what things you would never want to repeat.
Start fresh
Most of us swear we’re going to raise our kids differently when we become parents. Then we become parents…our parents! Why not focus on the fact that you’re a new family, and develop new ways to interact together and start new traditions together? It can help if you come at a decision from a clean slate.The adults in charge need to be flexible, creative, supportive of differences and committed to find acceptable solutions as children mature and adults evolve.
Explore these questions to start building a healthy team parenting approach.
What are your values? Are your actions reflecting your values or are they opposite your values so your kids become confused? Do you need to change your actions?
What were the “shoulds” that you learned about parents and children’s roles? Which ones are you interested in following?
Can you really compare how you were raised to how children are raised now? Is society the same? Were you reared in a different culture than where your family is now?
Can you acknowledge and work on discarding beliefs and habits you learned that you don’t want to repeat? Can you support your partner’s self-reflective journey as well without criticism for both of you?
What is the relationship between your caregivers thoughts and actions and your relationship with them now? Do you feel towards your parents or adult caregivers the way you want your children to feel about you when they are grown?
Read Some Parenting Books Together
It is sometimes hard to know how you want to respond to things until you have ideas. Luckily, there are so many great parenting books that exist in the world today! And books that help with pretty much every area of parenting. These books can really help you discover who you want to be as a parent and give you and your partner ideas for moving forward. A few of my favorites are Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman and Scream-Free Parenting by Hal Runkel.
Create Protocol for What to Do When You Disagree
In order to parent well as a team, it’s a must that you don’t fight with one another about parenting in front of your children. They are smart and will learn quickly if they can play one parent against the other. And that is something you never want to happen. So discuss how you will handle a situation with one another if you disagree. This may be telling the child you have to take a moment to discuss the consequences. This may be saying you will take turns letting a partner parent their way if you can’t see eye to eye on how to handle a situation. Whatever it is, come up with a game plan that allows you all to remain a united front in front of your children. This will not only help you parent as a team but will also benefit your relationship.
Ask, “Is this a big deal?”
If you disagree on something little, like how to dress baby or whether to bathe him or her in the sink or the tub, it’s not worth a fight. “When it comes to a huge safety or health issue, then it’s important to discuss it,” Bennett says, “but arguments between parents typically aren’t about whether to put a seatbelt on your kids. They’re more about parenting style.” So when dealing with those smaller, non-essential decisions see if you can each take turns—this time your partner will have the final say, and the next time it will be your turn, or vice versa.
Stay calm and listen
Don’t flip out as soon as you hear your partner’s take. React as calmly as you can—even if it’s not at all the response you wanted to hear. Then consider the situation you’re currently in when the topic comes up—if it’s 2 a.m., baby’s screaming, and neither of you have slept for hours, table the discussion for daylight hours when you feel sane enough to have a civil conversation. Then, when you’re ready ‘ask why?’. You might find your partner has a good reason for his stance and it can help you understand things better—or even make one of you more willing to give in.
Give your partner equal footing
Accept that your partner has a different style than you do, like he lets baby play independently (while supervised) and you like to play along with baby. It’s actually good for babies to be exposed to different people who speak in different intonations, point out different things to baby and involve baby in different activities—all this variety helps baby developmentally.
Support the decisions your spouse makes.
Let’s say you were gone for the afternoon. You came home to find that your spouse has banned your son from the computer for two weeks for what seems to you like a minor offense. Don’t say, “Two weeks? You have to be kidding!” All that does is undermine your spouse’s authority. It also informs your son that there is a weak link in the parenting team. Even if you do not agree on how the situation was handled, show support of your spouse in front of the child. Take time later to talk about it privately and hear the whole story. You may realize that you can now better understand the outcome.
If you still are not in agreement with your spouse, you have two choices. First, you may decide within yourself whether this is really a battle worth fighting. Is the world going to end if you decide to support and follow through with the decision already made? Probably not. So unless the situation is really going to cause some long-term damage, seriously consider supporting it.
The second option is to express to your spouse the reasons for your disagreement. Once the two of you have reached a mutually agreed-upon resolution, present that to your child as a team. Let your child know that the two of you have discussed this and have decided together to overturn the previous decision.
Don’t argue about parenting or discipline decisions in front of the children.
This includes situations where you are both present and need to intervene with your child. It also includes situations where one of you had to make a decision without the other present. If you are both present and struggling to come up with an agreeable solution, call a time-out. The two of you should retreat and discuss this situation privately. During that private time, work on a solution you can agree on. When you return to your child, present the decision with a united front.
Work Toward Mutual Strategies for Discipline
Are your parenting strategies using the five criteria for effective discipline:
Does it help children feel a sense of connection? (Belonging and significance)
Is it respectful and encouraging? (Kind and firm at the same time.)
Is it effective long-term? (Punishment works short-term, but has negative long-term results.”
Does it teach valuable social and life skills for good character? (Respect, concern for others, problem-solving, cooperation.
Does it help children develop the belief that they are capable?
Questions to ask yourself about your motives when disciplining
Are you putting the partner relationship at the center and nurturing it?
Are you taking care of yourself so you can have the inner strength to set limits and give needed support with your children when needed?
One of the most important points to remember as you work to develop a co-parenting team is to avoid comparing yourself to other couples or your parents. Each parenting team is unique and holds within it a unique set of strengths and weaknesses. When you realize that no two teams are alike, you will understand why comparing yourselves to any other team is just asking for trouble. What you find that seems to work best for your [family] may not work for others. And what they discover works for them may fail miserably within your home…
Successful teams are the ones whose members have learned to work together to accomplish their mutual goals. They understand and respect the importance of teamwork and each spouse’s contribution to the family. They have learned that they can accomplish so much more when they do it together than if they were each trying to go it alone. Successful teams have learned to cooperate, focus on the strengths and talents within your team. When you focus on doing that to the best of your ability, you will become the best spouse and parent you can possibly be.
Common Strategies of Happy Parents
Be a Happy Mom: 11 Strategies to Being a Happy Mom (thepragmaticparent.com)
11 effective strategies will help you find happiness as a stay at home mom. How to organize your days with the tools to being a Happy Stay at Home Mom.
FINDING HAPPINESS AS A STAY AT HOME MOM
More women are becoming stay-at-home moms. We're not living in a "Leave It to Beaver" world anymore, where 49% of women in 1967 were stay-at-home moms with a working partner. But the numbers from a 2014 Pew Research study do show that the number of women who are becoming stay-at-home moms has risen. However, adjusting to worrying about around-the-clock care for your baby, can wear you down. From the very second you wake up, there is not a single moment when you are not taking care of business. Kid business. Family business. Home business. Work business. Pet business. When the babies are napping, you’re not sitting on the couch or taking a nap, although that’s exactly what you’d like to be doing. Instead, you fold a load of laundry, sweep and vacuum, unload the dishwasher, put dinner in the crockpot and take a shower if you can squeeze it in. Before you know it, the babies have woken up and you’re back on for the rest of the day. The cycle repeats itself day in and day out.
The only thing it’s comparable to is like living the real-life version of Bill Murray in Groundhogs Day. The monotony of a routine works miracles for behavior and consistent sleep times, but it leaves the door open for discontentment and exhaustion.
Prioritizing the health and happiness of your family, ahead of your own will chip away at the iron-clad patience you pride yourself on, and rob your of the joy in motherhood. So it is a job: mixed with schedules and expectations as well as love and flexibility...and hugs and kisses and new adventures in everyday.
Yes, being a Stay at Home Mom is an extraordinary privilege some Moms would quit their day job for it if they could, but that doesn’t mean it’s all sunshine, smiles and cuddles. We do not sit around playing with our beautiful little humans in a constant state of bliss or drink a fancy Starbucks beverage every afternoon.
From one Stay at Home Mom to a working mom, we have the utmost respect that you work incredibly hard for your family, and make it home to love on your family. Sometimes the grass seems greener and the sun appears to shine brighter on the other side, but we wouldn’t change our lifestyle for the world.
We’re only looking for a healthy balance to getting our responsibilities done, to enjoy the time with our babies and find a way to feed our Stay at Home Mom souls so we don’t lose sight of the joy and happiness in motherhood.
If you want to rock at this Stay at Home Mom business – and you do – you have to make a plan for your day, your family, your “list” and yourself.
Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you jet off South of the Border for a weekend away, although about 4pm that might sound nice, it means you have practices in place that help your family and your own soul thrive.Naturally, you still want to look put together, whether it’s headed to a work meeting or a play date with the kids.Here are a few tips on how I manage to look put together, get the kids looking good and getting out the door quickly.
Being fresh and present when you’re with your babies means taking care of business and setting boundaries in a healthy and practical way. I was going to be the best Stay at Home Mom for my babies and that’s all that mattered. I would find more efficient ways to be a mom, take care of our home and myself.
Rocking the Parenting Thing
This is a list of solid ways to Rock Being a Stay at Home Mom and steer clear of falling into a Mom funk and being discontent with your little people and home, especially since you spend every waking minute with them. Parenting is a job, serving your babies needs, so if you an keep things light and fun it will be more enjoyable for everyone. It’s the silly moments and joy filled accomplishments that I remember as being most exhilarating.
GET YOURSELF DRESSED
When your wardrobe screams “I’m going to the gym” or “I just came from the gym” – regardless if you actually did or didn’t, it’s time to change up your look.
When is the last time you dressed in jeans or a dress? Showered? Did your hair and put on makeup? Wore your hair in something other than a ponytail or messy bun?
When you start the day off confident in the clothes you dress yourself with, you’ll be ready to conquer whatever comes at you. Getting dressed makes you feel polished and pulled together and reminds you that you look pretty damn good when you make a little effort to get dressed and ditch the Mom bun for a hairbrush.
MASTER YOUR MORNING OR YOUR EVENING ROUTINE
Building a solid routine may help you to be more productive while feeling less stressed.
Keeping all the balls in the air is a busy job and can become overwhelming. When you wake up in the morning, or go to bed at night feeling worn down because you don’t have any time to refuel your own tank, you know it’s time for a change.
Something has to give if you can’t keep running on an empty tank. Am I right? It sometimes felt like the hamster wheel was getting the best of me, and it was. It seemed I was always falling behind of my responsibilities, and it was overwhelming trying to play “catch up.”
PLAN AHEAD
Do your best to plan and visualize how you want your day to go.If your babies are really young, you may feel like your days are too unpredictable to plan. But plan somethings for morning and some for later in the day, even if it’s prepping bottles for the next day, or planning dinners for the week. This will give you some sense of control, and a feeling of accomplishment when the plans are carried out. But at times it can feel like nothing ever fully gets done.
At the end of the night, or in the morning, create a short to-do list of three things you want to get done that day. It could be as simple as putting one load of laundry in the washer, washing all the bottles, and prepping for dinner.
You will get the satisfaction of checking off your to-do list and feel like you fully accomplished something.
Sometimes it helps to become a calmer mom, simply by remembering how fortunate you are. We all complain about our babies and go through some intense days but try to remember the mothers who don’t have babies yet but desperately want them. Or the ones who are mothers to unborn children. We are truly blessed to have our babies.
You live in a safe place; you have food and water and your children are loved.We are truly blessed, every single day just to be able to wake up with our babies and enjoy our day with them.
TURN OFF YOUR PHONE
You’re no longer at the beck and call of other people. You won’t have to go on a rollercoaster of emotions as you scroll through your social media feeds. I have an alarm that goes off around the time I’m up for the day that just says ‘time to turn off your phone.’ I turn it off until lunch time or nap times.
You will be shocked at all the time you will magically seem to have when it’s not spent aimlessly on your phone. It’s also easier to pay attention to your children.
MOVE YOUR BODY
Exercise doesn’t have to be strenuous; it could mean getting outside to go for a walk with the babies, taking your dogs for a walk around the neighborhood, or dancing in the kitchen to Taylor Swift.
I like to get nice and sweaty a couple times a week and am reminded of the awesome squat session when my legs are burning every time I go up down the stairs to change diapers. I push myself and can feel the burn – literally – and it helps me let off steam from home life and clear my head so I can come back to my babies clear minded.
Exercise releases feel-good endorphins that get you into a positive headspace. It’s especially helpful if you’re feeling frustrated or at your wits end and can release some of the negative pent-up energy you’re holding onto.After a couple minutes, you’ll feel the tension leaving your body and have a better perspective on things. You can’t just vegetate on the coach on your phone. You have to put movement and sunshine in your day.
21 Fun Ways To Exercise With Baby, Post Pregnancy Mom Junction link
Total-body Workout You Can Do With Your Baby Men’s Journal link
ASK FOR HELP BEFORE YOU GET OVERWHELMED!!!
Moms who are rocking their days, know when to ask for help BEFORE things get bad. There are doctors for your babies but I found our mom’s and grandmother’s and even my grand-aunt Martha help invaluable in the first month’s. SOME OF THE OLD WAYS REALY WORKED BETTER…Plus it was exciting to share the triumphs of my day with them.
If you get overwhelmed, have too many things on their plate or simply want to run to the grocery store and post office without three babies in tow, they reach out to a babysitter, relative, friend or neighbor who they trust and can lend a hand watching the babies for a few hours. When Moms feel themselves wearing thin and recognize the signs, asking for help is a gift they give themselves and their families otherwise shot nerves can result in raising your voice and yelling, or losing your patience.
Help doesn’t always come in the form of childcare though.
Help may mean someone who can clean your home, help with yard work, pick up the babies from activities, a Mother’s helper or babysitting trade. Get creative if money is tight and think of ways to ask for help without spending any money.
SEEK OUT & NURTURE FRIENDSHIPS WITH MOM’S THAT LOVE BEING A MOM
Motherhood can be lonely when you stay at home every day and go through the paces.
When your friends are at work and don’t stay at home like you do, it can be difficult to develop meaningful relationships with other Moms who you’re compatible with and have the same routine and interests.
It’s time to be brave and look for opportunities to meet new people and strike up friendships with fellow parents.
Do you see another Mom walking by herself in your neighborhood? Is there a neighborhood email list, a local Mom’s group, childcare at the gym, or play facilities to connect with like parents? Consider meeting parents through a babysitting co-op, church group or online meet-up groups aimed at parents just like yourself.
ROCK YOUR BABY’S ROUTINE
Some moms who Rock their days have a great daily routine for their babies in place.
I kept a journal of things that worked, made me laugh, when they tried something new and when we triumphed over it, and moments when we just felt mushy. It would refresh my memory of something that worked for your Hope’s happiness.
However, I never used an hour by hour schedule. I had objectives or intentions for certain morning activities each day and options for later in the day as well. I did have fairly routine snacks and meals with naptimes and a bedtime routine. But I purposely made everything else flexible. Here’s why: when you have a strict hourly routine, it feels like a checklist. I didn’t want to be a checklist parent. I didn’t want my kids to feel like a task and I didn’t want to feel like I failed at my day because I missed an objective. I wanted to be in the moment and to be able to stick to something if they were enjoying an activity. If you are going crazy with the monotony of a schedule, relax as long as sleep and feedings are fairly consistent, your baby will be confident that his needs will get met.
I wanted a baby that could adjust to changes because no two days were the same in our household. I realize that that is contrary to what most baby books tell you to do. Its your choice to follow either way that fits your objectives. But every aspect of my babies schedules had to mesh together with others schedules for a successful day. Since I was a foster parent too, they had family visits and therapy.
STARTING A BEDTIME ROUTINE WITH YOUR NEWBORN
Start a calm, soothing baby sleep routine to help the baby relax before it's time to sleep. A bedtime routine will help babies learn that it is time to go to sleep. A predictable bedtime routine certainly does not have to be complicated, perhaps a bath, massage, diaper change and feeding.
If you’re an Introverted Mom like myself, alone time is non-negotiable which is why having a solid nap and peaceful bedtime routine so your babies sleep well is vital.
1. CREATE A SAFE SLEEP ENVIRONMENT FOR THE BABY
The most important newborn baby sleep tip is to make sure the baby has a safe sleep environment. There should be no loose blankets, soft toys, pillows, bumpers or anything else that could cover baby's head.
Put your baby on their back to sleep (never on their tummy or side). Make sure the mattress is clean and firm. Don't use a waterbed, or anything soft underneath – for example, a lamb's wool underlay or pillows. Keep pillows and adult bedding like sheets and blankets away from your baby.
2. PICK A GOOD STURDY BASSINET
For the first few months at least, it is recommended that the baby sleeps in the same room as the parents. This way you are close to the baby at all times. So pick a bassinet with features such as swivel motion, adjustable base and comfort.
I chose a basinet with a removable basket. I wanted my babies to enjoy the sunshine and fresh morning air from the Rocky Mountain trees just outside our door. So consider that if you are wanting to be outside a lot.
3. CHOOSE BLACKOUT CURTAINS OR SHADE FOR THE BABY NURSERY
You'll also need to create an environment in the master bedroom that is conducive to sleep. And, one of the easiest ways to facilitate better sleep for your baby is to install blackout curtains. Blackout curtains such as these ones have room-darkening features built into the fabric.
4. GIVE BABY A MASSAGE
A gentle baby massage can do wonders for your baby before bedtime. Consider giving your baby a loving massage at the same time every night. A massage can calm the baby when he's fussy, and soothe him to sleep.
When baby is about 4-6 weeks start a daily routine so the baby's days are more predictable if that is what you want. Feedings and nap time should always be close to a routine.
Need a sample routine for your toddler? Check this one out to get started.
If you want a place to keep your entire family’s routine in sync, the FREE Cozi Family Planner is the way to go. The Cozi Family Planner is the best FREE app for family organization and makes it easy for all your family members to track schedules, work obligations, activities and appointments in one digital place. Sign up to create a free account, upload all your details and download the app to your phone and you’ll see everything synched in one place. Easy, right?
YOUR KID’S SLEEP TIME IS NON-NEGOTIABLE
Naps and bedtimes are non-negotiable part of the day. Babies who have consistency with a sleep schedule are most often the best sleepers and have a set naptime and bedtime that they are accustomed to and follow. For the SAHM, these sleep times are critical to your sanity and giving you the break in the day that you need. Time for yourself and to decompress for an hour or two is exactly what will make you greet your babies after naptime or the next morning genuinely happy to see them.
LET YOUR BABIES HAVE TIME TO PLAY BY THEMSELVES
Playing independently for a bit is rejuvenating to them and most are happier and more pleasant for the remainder of the day. I find great benefits in the cheerfulness of their mood in my children. Even my extroverted children in the end enjoy some time to themselves each day to play how they want to and with the toys they want to.
For the best success at this independent playtime day after day, you will want to have it at a consistent time of day. When we are first starting independent playtime, try to be cheerful and happy about it even if your child is not initially.
With a newborn (yes, I start working at this concept at newborn!), I have my little one lay at the activity gym and “play” for five minutes without me talking to the baby and interacting with her. I always sit right close to the baby since she is a newborn. That way I can keep an eye on the baby. Newborns can’t see far, so your baby won’t be able to see you. As the baby gets older, I extend it to ten or even 15 minutes and sit as far away as I need to in order to remain unspotted. The length of time will be based on your babies abilities. See https://www.babywisemom.com/how-to-get-your-child-to-happily-play for the full article
Being a SAHM Mom does not mean that you need to be your child’s constant play companion. It’s important as babies grow, they develop the skills they to play independently and rock their solo playtime.
Independently playtime helps children explore, learn on their own, strike up creativity and expand their attention span. It also gives you a quick break to breathe – or more likely, make dinner or fold a load of laundry you just fluffed for the 4th time. Learn how to give your children time each day as part of your routine to play by themselves. Even newborns can benefit from this independent playtime and gradually with age, you build up the amount of solo time.
BE PREPARED FOR ANYTHING & EVERYTHING
You’re rocking this whole Stay at Home Mom business because you’re always prepared.
That’s right, you’re always ready for accidents, dirty clothes, the pool, playdates, lunches out of the house and trips. This means, you take the necessary time to prepare for the day – either the night before or that morning – so that you aren’t ever rushed, short on supplies while you’re out or left unprepared in a precarious situation.
Here is what I like to do to stay organized and always have what I need, even if I’m running out the door:
In the summer, I keep a swim bag with toys, goggles, sunscreen and towels packed in the garage so all I have to do is grab it on the go.
Keep an emergency kit in the car and one in your house.
Rotate out a bin in your car for each season with snacks, spare set of clothes or sweaters, water and books.
Heading out the next day? Pack your bag the night before and leave a checklist of last-minute items to bring in the morning which may be in the refrigerator or something you have to do like put on sunscreen.
MAKE TIME TO DO YOU
Part of the juggle of being a Stay at Home Mom, is including time for yourself away from your babies. There’s no reason not to explore things that you like to do with your baby. I was working on my Master’s degree and working part-time. My classes were on video, and I fit them in when Hope was doing free play or sleeping.
It may be once they’re asleep when you head out for dinner with a friend, curl up on the couch with a book or to get your haircut. The point is that you make time to do something for yourself that you enjoy, everyday.
When you become a mother, your identity changes from who you were before you had babies whether that was a career you worked hard to build or the freedom you had. This shift in identity can be a challenge to accept but if you take time – even in the smallest of ways – to do something that feeds your soul, you’ll remain happy as a SAHM.
Whether you take this time before the babies wake-up, while napping, or while they are playing, take 15-30 minutes to do what YOU want to do. For me, this is usually reading a book, or working on my cross-stitch.
Taking this time isn’t even necessarily about downtime for you, it’s about spending a few minutes everyday on something and seeing how that adds up. You could actually finish something using this time! A book, a project, or even a puzzle. You will feel proud and accomplished when it happens.
Set your timer and take the time for you.
Find a Hobby to do at home- Begin to look for a hobby, then head on over to Pinterest. If you find something that you envy – like DIY projects, book clubs, or scrapbooking, then you may have found your next hobby.
Or in Awesome Hobbies for Moms: 50+ Hobbies to Cure Your Loneliness, Rachel talks about the following benefits of having a hobby:
Gives perspective
Helps rejuvenate
Prevents you from losing your sense of identity
Allows you to express your creativity
She also lists over 50 hobbies you might be interested in. You can check those out here.
KEEP A REALISTIC MINDSET
No one has ever had actual on-the-job experience of how to be a super Mom, before they find themselves with a child in their arms. Parenthood is all about your choices as you feel your way through, as you are experiencing it. You will find your way through it, just like generations before you
Moms who rock the Stay-at-Home lifestyle understand that their children are not perfect and neither are they. Everyone makes mistakes and parents and children are learning how to be just that, in the moment.
Tough times don’t last forever. Tough behavior, tough periods, tough emotions will always run their course. There will always be periods of chaos in motherhood. Your house doesn’t need to be spotless or dinner prepared from scratch. If you have laundry piling up or ordered pizza twice this week, that’s Ok.
There is no such thing as a perfect Mom or a perfect family. Let go of aiming to be the perfect Mom, and instead know that imperfection will make you a happier mother.
My youngest is 24 and I still try not to feel like I need to be the perfect mom. Being happy or miserable as a parent is basically a choice between selfishly wanting attention and affirmations for yourself, or wanting to be a more playful and nurturing parent everyday. Just like when learning to create art, you will build on the things that you learn every day. You will be more and more prepared for each sunrise, because of what you learned about your baby in the days before. You have to find time to keep yourself happy and healthy each day or your baby will never be able to do that either.
So, breathe in some fresh air, eat right and make a few goals so you feel accomplished and find delight in every chance to nurture and enjoy your babies. Show them how to be joyful and accomplish the things they are working on. Be more joyful every day so your babies learn how to do that too.
Here are a couple more articles that I thought were worth sharing with you. I hope they make you think and feel inspired to be the best parent that you can become. I hope that your parenting adventure becomes playful and full of joy. Like I was.
My cousin just said that her daughter enjoys being a parent so much that she wonders how she was happy before having a baby. “Joy just consumes her to the depth of her soul.” That is what I wish for all parents reading this, even if it is something that you have to work at.
10 Easy Ways to Involve New Dads in Baby Care
Despite feeling like I was all alone on an emotional roller coaster, I wasn’t. My husband was riding it with me.
I had no idea at the time, because I was too caught up in myself. And because our situations looked so different – my husband could actually sleep through the night and wear regular underwear. But this experience was every bit as unsettling for my husband as it was for me.
First, there was the economic factor, for which my husband was entirely responsible, since he had graciously agreed with me that our children should have a full-time, at-home mommy.
Diapers were suddenly a huge expense, but eventually this tiny daughter would need braces, a college education and a wedding!
Second, there was the fact that our family dynamics flip-flopped. Where as the two of us had previously been an adorable, newlywed couple, it was now the baby and me in one corner of the boxing ring and him in the opposite. At least it felt that way. Every aspect of my life, literally 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, was consumed with the baby.
My biggest concerns were the contents of the baby’s diaper, and getting her to burp. I rarely even thought to ask about my husband’s day. Even after the enormous panties had been replaced by regular ones, my body was not the same, nor were my desires. My body had been traumatized, people!
Dads seriously deserve SUCH a huge award
for sticking around through this very NOT fun time.
All of you – mom, dad and baby will be much happier when both parents are involved in caring for baby.
Dad might need a little push to get started, though, so here are ten easy ways to involve new dads in baby care.
1 Ask Him for Help
Men don’t get hints at all.
They need to be asked outright, directly and specifically.
The fact that he can’t ‘see’ what needs to be done like you can and needs to be asked and directed doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or that he isn’t willing to help. It’s just a trait of the male gender.
Trust me, your husband feels freaked out and intimidated by this tiny bundle, and has not had nearly the practice you have, but is still happy to help. He wants to be a part of this amazing miracle.
2 Trust Him
Let your husband work things out on his own. Refrain from being bossy or critical of his methods, especially if he isn’t up to speed (or doesn’t think he is).
If you fall into this destructive pattern, you’ll just erode his self-confidence, and your baby won’t get used to being comforted by him – which will leave you without a moment’s rest or peace.
This little bundle is not rocket science. Dads can absolutely figure out how to put on a onesie or change a diaper. The very act of completing baby tasks helps to build competence and confidence, as well as helping both dad and baby to build strong bonds with one another.
My husband is actually much better at soothing upset babies than I am because he is less emotional and because he gets more breaks away from the kids than I do, so he can see the big picture more objectively.
3 Play Time
Dads are exceptionally skilled at play time. Studies have found that babies whose fathers played with them more performed significantly better on cognitive tests at two years of age.
Dads and moms tend to play differently with their babies. Moms play more gently and dads are rougher and more rambunctious, and babies require both styles of playing to develop properly.
Studies show that rough and tumble play helps kids to learn to manage their emotions, socialize with others, and master problem-solving skills.
4 Nighttime Support
Let’s be honest – no matter how tired you are, it’s not easy to convince a dad who works days to spend his nights awake with the baby – especially if you’re a SAHM.
And if you’re exclusively breastfeeding, you’ll have to get up with the baby anyway. There’s no point in you both losing sleep.
So try striking a deal. If having him help out at night during the week won’t work for your family, try giving him the weekend night shift instead.
Or maybe it would work for mom to do all the nighttime feedings until a certain time, like 6 am, and then Dad can get baby back to sleep before heading off to work, allowing mom to sleep late.
It’s worth the effort to find an amicable solution that everyone can live with. And if you’re both working full-time, dad should absolutely share the nighttime responsibilities in a way that will help both spouses feel supported.
5 Feeding Support
Whether your baby is exclusively breastfeeding, bottle-fed or both, feeding newborns takes up an enormous portion of every day. I spent 40 hours a week at times, nursing each of my children.
And that didn’t include the burping afterward or getting my baby to sleep. It’s exhausting!
If your baby will take a bottle, Dad can help out a lot with feeding. If not, Dad can take over burping and getting her to sleep, which will be very helpful.
Dads can also be solicitous of moms needs while nursing and supportive of the time it takes.
6 Diaper Duty
Each baby will require thousands of diaper changes during the first few years of life. Why not make these hours count? It could be a fantastic opportunity for bonding when viewed as a fun time to socialize and play rather than a messy, distasteful chore. Embrace this time together, and your baby will, too.Try singing a cute song to your baby.Make it funtime.
7 Bath Time
We fight over who gets to bathe the baby at our house – it’s so much fun! So you might have to work out a schedule for who gets this fun chore.
8 Take Baby Along For the Ride
Just like dogs, babies need fresh air and sunshine.
Taking the baby for a walk is a great way to for dads to give moms a little peace and quiet. It’s fun to snuggle tiny babies in a sling on your chest. Older babies seem to prefer the stroller.
Integrate this fun activity into everyday life, and you can cancel your gym membership and save money.
Be sure to point things out to your baby and interact while walking, so your baby looks forward to this time every day. Your baby will open your eyes to all the wonders (bugs, rocks, construction equipment…) along the way that you would otherwise not even notice.
You can do more than just walk, too. Whatever your preferred exercise is, find a way to include your baby.
9 Let Dad Share His Favorite Skills and Talents
Some dads love to build things. From changing tables to baby swings and everything in between, there is a lot of assembly required when it comes to baby gear!
Dads can take charge and get all the nursery gear assembled.
Musical dads might like to hold their baby on their lap while playing the piano, singing, or strumming a guitar. My dad, a skilled craftsman, loved to invite us kids out to his workshop to pound nails into boards.
Look for creative ways to incorporate your little baby buddy into your life and the things you love to do.
10 Reading
It’s never too early to start a consistent bedtime routine, and a wind-down with dad may be just what the doctor ordered. Plus, dads always have the best funny voices and dramatic storytelling abilities.
And reading should not be limited to bedtime, if you want your baby to become an avid reader. Here are 7 Easy Tips for Creating Lifelong Readers you might like.
Your Husband is Your Partner
***Above all, remember that your spouse is your partner, not your helper.
He should be as fully involved in child rearing as possible, (even if he’s the type to need a little shove to get going) because the bonds that will be formed as a result of his help and presence will be immeasurably satisfying and joy-filled to him and to your children.
But the partnership goes both ways, and a partnership doesn’t mean that both partners do an equal amount of everything. Rather, the best partnerships play to the strengths of each partner.
So don’t use this list as a method for dividing labor equally. It could be detrimental to your family dynamic to insist that 50% of each item on this list be performed by each spouse. Instead, use the list to discuss possible ways to involve dad more, in a way that you are both pleased with and excited about.
If your husband wants to take over all of the bath time and read baby a story before bed each night, consider yourself blessed.
Even if he rarely changes a diaper. The point isn’t doing everything equally, it’s finding ways to better involve dads, for the betterment of the entire family.
Now tell me – how do you support your husband as a new dad?
Dad’s do, for the most part, want to be involved in the process, but aren’t always sure how or what to do to get involved. So have an open discussion about giving him solo time to enjoy being a parent too. It’s not just about giving mom a break. All of the dads that I know that have exceptional bonds with their adult children, at least attempted this daily. From day one, I went to bed early so Russ could handle the bedtime routine on his own and he was actively apart of each day when he was home. We both felt lucky to be Hope’s parents and to have fun with her each and every day. We had been foster parents for a longtime. However, Hope was our first child that we had from the moment of her first breath. To this day, she is just as bonded with him as she is to me. By working it out to share parenting with your husband, you are actually giving him the gift of being able to bond with his children. That joy lasts forever!!!
How To Be A Fun Mom And Connect With Your Kids
I have been waiting a long time to write this post for you. Well to start off, even before I had my son, I imagined myself to be a fun mom. A mother who was playful, joyous and calm, always.
Ummm, then I actually became a mother. And as they say, its easier parenting imaginary kids than your real kids.
FIRST STEPS TO BEING A FUN PARENT: HOW TO BE A HAPPY MOM?
Well, long story short, I was swamped with the responsibilities that came along with motherhood, and solo parenting (my husband travels extensively for work, sometimes up to 20-22 days a month).
I was losing my own joy and had nothing to offer my child in the joy department.
Besides meeting our basic needs I really didn’t have much energy left in me to be fun. Not that I was a grumpy woman, I was more of a quieter and resigned to life sort of character. And I did not enjoy this change in me. Anyone who knows me knows me as an energetic and optimistic person, one who is always smiling even through the most difficult situations.
I realized that my mother, grandmothers, and other friends with kids didn’t really talk about the struggles of motherhood. It would have been nice if the motherhood challenges were shared and motherhood was not always portrayed as a beautiful and serene experience.
It doesn’t always look pretty, it gets lonely sometimes and is one of the most physically and emotionally demanding jobs there is. Unfortunately, the elders in my family did not highlight these struggles and challenges, and I felt unprepared and overwhelmed in motherhood.
Once I accepted, Yes, Motherhood is hard, I found some closure and could move on from there to do what I truly wanted for our son.
I wanted to give him a sunshine childhood, enjoy motherhood and most of all I wanted our family to have good memories of his growing up years.
I wanted to be a Fun Mom.
It takes a little bit of a perspective change to be a more joyful parent. I have already spoken on this blog about what I did to overcome feeling lost in motherhood and take care of myself too.
Do read these posts if this is how motherhood feels for you too. It’s okay, to be honest, we love our children, but we have to work on ourselves in order to give them the loving family they deserve.
HOW TO BE A FUN MOM AND REALLY CONNECT WITH YOUR KIDS
Remember back to your childhood
One thing I always do is to remember the little girl in me. So many things our children do are the same as what we did as little kids, yet we are unforgiving of their playful mischief.It’s good to be forgiving of some of the messes, and playful explorations and instead use these moments to shape our conversations with our kids. Another thing I like to do is go back to what I did as a little girl, sometimes incorporating my own favorite childhood fun memories in my time with my son.
I have a favorite memory from time spent with my grandfather at our village home. After every visit to the beach, he took us out for ice cream. This was a special place special treat type of thing.
My son has a favorite park a little distance from our home. It’s not our everyday park. So we make the trip special for him. After each visit there, we buy fresh coconut water from the vendor outside the park (coconuts are his favorite food). This has become our special thing to do when we go to this park. He really looks forward to going there, knowing mommy will buy him coconut water when returning home.
Enjoy the moment
Many times something magical is happening in the moment and we are stressing about the routine, or maybe not even looking at our child. We have our eyes glued to our mobiles and miss these tiny magical moments.
When you are giving one on one time to your child keep all distractions away. No looking at the phone, no thinking about what is next in the routine.
Look at your child, really observe him, make eye contact, smile, and talk to him.
Sounds simple, but many of us don’t do these simple things when spending time with our child. We are all busy capturing the moment on a phone rather than through our eyes.
And your child notices undivided attention, believe me, that’s what his heart craves.
In our home, I spend early mornings simply playing with our son. I really enjoy our time together. The temptation to document something he does is always there, but I am getting much better at not using screens when he is around me. And my son definitely notices when I am giving him one on one undivided attention.
Change the routine sometimes
This one is for all of us who love to follow the routine. In our home, the routine is really important, especially on days I solo parent. It helps me get our son to bed on time and gives me the much needed time I need to unwind.
Last year though, I started occasionally surprising my son with something new added to the routine. He loved this so much, he even said to me, “Mom, you are fun!”
We do breakfast pancakes for dinner sometimes, an out of the blue no reason cupcake when we are out shopping together, or surprise homemade cookies, impromptu singing, and dancing. Some unexpected twists to the daily routine add more fun to the day.
Be silly
Really, you have to be silly too. It’s fun cracking up with laughter on toddler jokes. Make funny faces, share animated stories with each other, try knock-knock jokes and of course every child’s favorite game, Peekaboo.
Sing your toddler’s favorite nursery rhymes really loud and get him to shake a leg with you.
Be silly and have fun.
Play with your child
Play with your child, not just instruct him on how to play. Get involved in his games and really play with him as a playmate would…the way he wants you to.
So many of us plan elaborate learning-based activities but we forget about simple childhood games. One on one time together does not mean time spent in learning activities, though, those are nice too. But all your child wants is your attention and some time.
Go out and play cricket and football with your kid. Set up a teepee tent and play some child-led pretend play games.
Just have good old fashioned play-based fun.
The type of games we played as kids with our parents, it doesn’t have to be all about the activities and learning all the time.
Believe me, you will have your child’s heart when you relax and just let him lead you into his imaginary pretend play world.
Try to find magic in the mundane
You cannot possibly make every day exciting for your kids. And having a daily routine is important both for you and your kids. But this does not mean you cannot find the fun in every day.
Children love having secrets and finding magical things. They have an active imagination and love to fantasize about make-believe. Essentially they are dreaming and learning to create through such activities.
I encourage finding magic every day. In our attempt to raise independent and logical little kids we don’t want them to lose their imagination and creativity, do we?.
We do simple things at the toddler stage in our home, but our genuine enthusiasm and happy tone are easy to catch on to.
Regular meals get special names- the daily oats porridge is given the name ‘apple cinnamon dash’. Making a regular meal sound like something special.
We play a game where we pass secret messages to each other and share some giggles when the message gets messed up.
We are also building a memory box with memories from each of his birthdays. Something for him to treasure when he grows up.
Every time we go for a drive, we decide on what we are going to look for. “Let’s look for red diggers and yellow cranes ” or “Let’s see how many white umbrellas we find” on a rainy day. The excitement your child feels when he spots what you are looking for is priceless!
Sometimes we lay out a favorite fruit, something he has been requesting for a while (in our home that’s blueberries) in a corner of the kitchen, where we know he will find it. He gets so excited on finding his favorite fruit, and says, “How did you know I wanted this?”
So get creative, put on your magic thinking hats and find the magic in the mundane.
Let them make a mess
Mess equals fun. The mess is good for development. I know you are going to say, “But I am the one cleaning up after!!”.
I recommend you read my post on why it is important for a child to eat messily. The same logic applies to make a mess while playing too, it is great for sensory development.
We try to keep rules during play to a minimum, there is no right way to play with something. Every way is the right way. You will be surprised at how creative your kids are when there is less interference from your side on how to play.
One way I take care of messes is to section off an area for my toddler to play that’s safe and easy to clean after. Sometimes I recruit his help too, which he happily does. Ting! Points scored on being a cool and fun mom.
Cook with your kids
There is no better way to bond with your kids than get together and cook something fun. For toddlers, you can try flameless recipes, and for older kids, you can start with recipes that require easy cooking skills like boiling an egg and then building an egg sandwich or cooking rice and building burritos.
Cooking with kids also encourages them to try what they eat, the perfect trick to use on picky eaters. To know more about the benefits of cooking with kids read my post on tips and tricks to cooking with kids.
Dance with your kids
Put on music, let your hair down and just dance. There is nothing more fun than dancing with your kids. Younger kids even take a liking to your music so there is no need to dance on the title track of Frozen every day.
Dancing shows your kids how you have a good time and both of you can learn some new moves while you are at it. Maybe even have a dance battle!
Have a movie day/night
Sunday afternoons is movie time with our son. I use this opportunity to sit back and enjoy some of my favorite movies with him. We make us some snacks, pull down the curtains and really get into movie mode. He loves loves loves having a movie day with us.
Movie day is a great opportunity for parents to select some classic movies or maybe even fun educational ones that you can talk about and discuss later.
Kids need to see how their parents relax and enjoy too. Family comedy movies are the best genre of movie to watch with little kids.
I really loved this blog post on fun things to do with kids, so many wonderful ideas all packed into one post. Go ahead take a peek and jot down a few fun ideas for you to try at home.
How do you have fun with your kids? Do you have a special ritual or secret trick to connect with your kids? Leave us a comment below on what you do to be a fun mom.
Parenthood Has 5 Built-In Pleasures
But how can you remember that while you’re performing the hard labor of parenting, such as changing diapers, managing tantrums, or dealing with adolescent angst? And if you don’t have children, how can you develop those protective parenting factors?
1. Participate
According to years of positive psychology study, having good social and family connections is the most important element in happiness. Researchers believe that the decline in subjective well-being in the United States is due to the weakening of community in contemporary living.
Children, on the other hand, introduce their parents to a world of new social contacts, including instructors, babysitters, other children, and their parents, and long-lost relatives (and strangers on the street!) who can’t resist a beautiful baby cheek. When you have a kid, you essentially acquire a ready-made community that you would have to work harder to create otherwise.
Non-parents satisfaction was gradually dropping while parents’ happiness stayed constant. He believes the difference is due to a reduction in social connections. It is discovered that although social connection dropped for all [respondents, it fell less for parents than for non-parents. Make an effort to find—and remain involved in—a community, whether or not you have children.
2. Have fun
You may hate being “it,” yet children’s games, such as tag in the yard and Marco Polo in the pool, are another gift they give to their parents. Play, in addition to being excellent exercise and a vital component of health and happiness, creates space in your life for wonder, creativity, and curiosity. Playing gets you out of your brain and takes your mind off of grownup concerns like bills, job deadlines, and laundry. Play is one of the few activities in which both adults and children may experience “flow,” or full and pleasurable immersion.
3. Spread the word
We teach youngsters that sharing is caring. Sharing, on the other hand, is an essential component of adult happiness. It’s something that parents do on a daily basis. Sacrificing your morning run to nurse the baby or take a child to the orthodontist is no fun in the short term. Giving to others and doing acts of kindness, on the other hand, have been shown to improve long-term happiness.
Parents have this happiness principle built in. The University of the South and the head of its Happy Parents are less focused on themselves, which has been linked to a higher level of happiness. Find the sweet spot where you’re more concerned about your children than yourself, but not so much that you’re worrying or obsessing to an excessive degree.
There are four ways that living a life of giving may enhance your life.
4. Consider the big picture
When parents are going through difficult times, such as the terrible twos, people frequently console them by saying things like “it’s only a phase” or “it’ll pass.” Science backs up this common belief. The happiest parents are those with older children, who are more likely to be older themselves. Teenage years are undoubtedly just as tough as diaper days, but they aren’t as all-consuming for parents.
Teenagers attend high school, participate in extracurricular activities and schoolwork, and sometimes lock themselves away in their rooms, providing you with the kind of respite that parents of screaming, pre-walking, diaper-wearing children can only dream of. The bottom line is to not sweat the little issues and to keep in mind that things will get better.
5. Look for meaning and purpose in your life
Many grownups are perplexed by “what it all means.” What exactly are we doing here? What can we do to help the world? What makes us tick? Having children is a simple solution. We’re here to help and adore our babies as they grow up. When we know we are working for their food, education, and adventures, going to work takes on a whole new significance. This feeling of significance and purpose is important for parents since happiness and life satisfaction may suffer if they don’t have it.
However, children are not the sole source of profound meaning. Whether it’s religion, art, surfing, or making the world a better place in little or large ways, it’s important to nurture and remind yourself of your purpose and meaning on a daily basis. And parents, thank your children for all the joy they unknowingly provide to your life, even if they’re using your smartphone as a coaster.
An Older Parents Lament
Source unknown
It is a world of Starbucks, iPhones, YouTube and Uggs. Or not the whole world, just ours. The middle suburban class of North America.
Parenting isn’t just finding that fine line of making things nice enough for your babies, but it’s also to keep them from over indulging. It absolutely irks me when my children get grumpy over the fact that I won’t get them Starbucks for breakfast. There’s a number of reasons why I don’t just hop in my car and drive the quarter mile down the street to the drive-thru and get them their favorite cheese danish and vanilla bean Frappuccino every morning. Cost. It’s $10 a pop for both babies every time I do that. Logistics. Maybe I’m still in my pajamas and I don’t want to leave the house. Scruples. I feel absolutely awful for going the easy and expensive route at every whim my child has.
Maybe this isn’t just a problem from this era. Maybe long long ago, Cassius was upset because Antonius got a better abacus. Maybe Fauntleroy teased all his friends over the gold pocket watch he got. And little Abigail always got the fanciest curds and whey before heading off to school while the other babies just got regular old porridge.
Oh if only our babies just played with rocks and sticks again.
I guess we’re just going to have to actually PARENT the little buggers. Set boundaries, tell them no. Even when they hate us for it. God parenting is hard.
My last thoughts on the joys of parenthood is to think ahead on the type of parent that you want to be to your children or as in how you want them to remember you as a parent. Read up on topics that you struggle with. The internet is full of opinions and advice. Remember to find your self a friend or relative that you want to model as a parent and strive to become that. Look into your child's face and see how they look back at you. They don’t hold back.
Is it what you wanted to see? If not, you are the only one that can change it.
